J. was my first mentor in the software business in the early 1980’s and became a true friend over the years. He was a marketing genius and about twenty years my senior. We traded roles through the years. First I worked for him at Peachtree Software in Atlanta, and then he worked for me at BMW Software in San Francisco. We were very close.
In the mid-1990’s, he asked me help him pitch a new business concept to a large mutual fund company in New York City. I was in the San Francisco area managing an entrepreneurial venture and said I could not fly to the East Coast unless he paid my expenses. He agreed. The overall presentation did not go well, although my part was a hit. After the trip I sent him my bill, which was about $600 for airfare, hotel and transportation. He did not answer. I wrote, emailed and left messages on his phone over the following twelve months, but never got a response. For me, it was not the money per se, but the lack of communication. He just dropped out of my life.
I have not spoken with him in over ten years. A mutual friend says J. was undergoing to major life changes at the time and was embarrassed to communicate with me. And I was too pig headed for many years to reach out to him. This year I resolved to contact him and hopefully renew our friendship. I will not ask for the money back. I have forgiven him even if he doesn’t seek my forgiveness. His friendship is much more important than the $600. I wish I had woken up sooner.
